Jusjojan/collection/1/17/2016

Just Jot It January 17th – Collection

I use to collect many things over the years like jewelry boxes, musical globes, every birthday card I ever had, displayed plates, just to name a few. Unfortunately all things were destroyed over the years. Another human being destroyed anything of mine that meant something to me. He even bought me more to replace the ones he demolished with other ones then he would fuck them up! It was a cycle for him to do this type of this thing too. Soon, I just stopped collecting anything and began being a broken down woman. I walked around self medicating myself and to make him not say crazy things about me and my appearance I started to dress simple. I tried to do anything and everything to please him. The beatings stopped but sick as it sounds I would rather take them the suffer the mental abuse. It took a long long time for me to walk. Change is all I wanted in life. No collection replacements or saying he is sorry would stop what I knew deep down I was going to have. With or without him drugs were not an option. See that’s about the time I started my collection of dreams and goals in my head is where they set. More and more built up each day. Collecting these things was so priceless to me. I would continue collecting them until 4 years ago almost 5 now that’s when the shelf in my mind holding all my dreams and goals started to break. I thought don’t break shelf. I could not and would not loose them. I had more to add. With only one black garbage bag full of clothes only (all pics of our kids growing up all ribbons and such they earned he kept) and hopped on a bus to Oklahoma. Leaving him and drugs behind. Taking my collection of dreams and goals with me.

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8 comments
  1. joey said:

    Good for you. Now you can collect much better things. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. The best collection to have. I hope you keep collecting your dreams and goals and get a chance to achieve them. All the best of luck to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You now have a shelf all your own to put whatever collection of hopes, dreams, goals you choose to create.
    “I so hope,” she said, “That you continue to collect, to grow, to leave behind the woman who’s collective self was destroyed, but not her collective soul.”

    Liked by 1 person

    • well said and thank you! Nothing will ….i know it because I can feel it!

      Like

  4. Deb said:

    The happy ending made me smile. Hope you are happier now, are collecting happier memories and experiences and enjoying every second of it.

    Like

  5. Living under the thumb of a narcissist is its own version of purgatory. Good for you for getting away, Annette. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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